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Permission to Backslide


Sometimes after a period of feeling better, we find ourselves immersed in the old feelings of extreme sadness, despair or anger. This is the nature of grief. This may happen over and over, for an extended period of time, but it does not mean that you are not healing.

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Small Pleasures


Do not underestimate the healing effect of small pleasures. Allow yourself to enjoy sunsets, a walk in the woods or favorite food. All steps toward regaining your ability to take pleasure in life can be helpful.

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For a while, much of life may seem to be without meaning. At times like these, small goals are helpful. Something to look forward to, like playing tennis with a friend next week or a trip next month, will help you get through the present. Living one day at a time is a good rule [...]




Try to allow yourself to accept the expressions of caring from others even though they may be uneasy and awkward. Others are comforted when you allow them to help you. Helping someone else who is also experiencing a loss may bring you both comfort.




You may find hope and comfort from those who have experienced a similar loss. Knowing things that helped others and realizing they have recovered with time will give you hope that sometime in the future your grief will be less raw and overwhelming.




Try to reduce or find help for financial or other stress in your life. Allow yourself to be close to those you trust. Getting into routines helps. You may need to allow yourself to do things at your own pace. Make lists and set priorities.




Take time for prayers, meditation or reflection. Grief is an emotionally exhausting process. You will need to replenish yourself. Ask others what helped them in their time of grief.


Exercise and Diversion


Exercise is important. Walk aerobically for 30 minutes each day with friends, if possible. Do what feels healing to you and what connects you to the people and things you love.

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Rest and Relaxation


Get plenty of rest and relaxation. You may need more of things like hot baths or afternoon naps. Taking a trip may help, or having a cause to work for or helping others may provide solace. Any of these may help you transition into this new chapter of your life.

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You need time alone and time with others you trust to listen when you need to talk. Feeling and understanding the emotions that accompany loss may take months or years.